Meetings get a lot of flack as being epic time-sucks, and over the last few years, more and more folks have spoken out against them.

Research has shown that many people, especially those who are required to “make” anything, need uninterrupted blocks of time to get things done.

I agree. So does Google:

Take control over your calendar. Own your time. Schedule blocks dedicated to creative work, forbidden to be scheduled over by your coworkers. Not so hard, right? Well, my friends, I’ve been blocking off my calendar for months, and I’m here to unveil an ugly truth:

Meetings are an easy scapegoat for the real time-sucking culprit: emails.

You can take control over your calendar, but you will never, ever have control over your inbox.

You know that feeling you get when you send an email and receive a full-blown, custom reply within 10 minutes? Elation, right? It makes us feel incredibly special, almost as though the sender’s sole purpose was to reply to us and us alone.

This feeling is enhanced during non 9-5 hours, and especially so when the “Sent from my iPhone” disclaimer lingers at the bottom.

“Wow!” we think. “What speed! What efficiency! I need to thank them for their quick reply!”

This right-here, right-now exchange gives way to a culture where quick replies aren’t only valued, but expected on both sides of the chain.

Today, I got stuck in a vicious quick reply loop, triggered by an auto-generated email that went out to about 2400 employees. About two dozen people replied to a group alias—the most well-intentioned, least effective communication tool—asking why they received said email. It’s my assigned group inbox duty to respond to all emails regarding this subject. So, as they began to trickle in, I chipped away at them one by one.

“DING!” went my Outlook notification, moments after I’d settled into a focused groove with my work. “DING! DING! DING!”

The emails were all from separate senders, low-priority, and equally likely to cause me to get the stink-eye from a coworker if left for too long in the group inbox.

After each “DING,” I minimized the screen with my time-sensitive project and opened Outlook, shifting my brain from “work mode” to “admin mode.”

Sending one reply seemed to spawn another two inquiries, like slaying a dragon’s head only to find two separate faces growing back. I simply couldn’t keep up.

Each inquiry took about 10-15 minutes to look into. After resolving each issue, I crafted a custom response and hit “send,” taking a small sigh of relief. Could I finally resume my project—the one with the deadline looming?

Not so fast, my inbox told me. “DING!” My head began to throb.

Nearly every response I sent triggered a follow-up reply, most sent within five minutes after I clicked send.

“Thanks for the quick reply!”

A smiling emoticon followed about 30% of the time.

While I’m sure the thanks is genuine, the place where it’s generated makes my blood boil.

We’re so accustomed to instantaneous responses; so obsessed with immediate gratification that we can’t wait even a few hours for a response to our requests.

“ANSWER ME NOW!” each email seems to scream as it grows stale along with its unopened counterparts. “I’M WAITING! WE ALL ARE!”

The real problem with the quick reply is that it sets into motion an unstoppable loop.

One quick reply triggers another quick reply, and suddenly everyone is so busy replying quickly and thanking each other for replying quickly that no one can get a damn thing done. Combine that with the exponential growth of carbon copy clutter, and we’re drowning in our own obsession with staying connected and in the know.

When did ignoring an email for a few hours become the office equivalent of letting your dog shit in your neighbors lawn and letting it sit? When did “Patience is a virtue” get replaced with “To hell with patience; I want answers!”?

My mother-in-law has a sign in her house that says, “Trying to clean your house when the kids are around is like trying to shovel the driveway when it’s still snowing.”

Replace “clean your house” with “get work done” and “kids” with “coworkers,” and the sentiment still holds true.

Plenty of research has proven that checking emails less frequently leads to less stress—something we could all use.

“Cutting back on email might reduce stress as much as picturing yourself swimming in the warm waters of a tropical island several times a day,”

New York Times

It’s been suggested that checking email just twice, once in the morning and once in the evening, is the most effective way to stay on top of your inbox.

“Hell yes!” you’re probably saying. “Sign me up!”

But not so fast. That whole twice-a-day thing? That’s a two-way pact that both sides have to agree to. While you may be nodding in agreement, you know who isn’t?

Everyone emailing you. And that’s a problem.

So here’s the real question: how do we bring an end to the quick reply epidemic so we can return our focus to our actual jobs? How can we respect other people’s inboxes just like we respect their calendars?

Is there a reasonable cure? I want answers.

…Thanks in advance for your quick replies.

Love, Cog